The Reckless (Drunk) Driver

This anecdote is about a person or even a group of people I have collectively named the “Reckless Driver”.

The Reckless Driver is always the person who is too cheap to pay for a cab to go out, so they always offer to drive (if we pay petrol money of course).  They also have to spin you some story of how they won’t drink, and if they do drink they will wait 2 hours to sober up before we leave, or even if they don’t sober up there is always an alternative driver who will most definitely be sober to drive us back. Sounds legit right? If only…

On this particular night we were approached by The Reckless driver and her friend The Alternative driver to go to St Yves for the night. We were not very keen to go as we always take a cab (saves us the hassle of drunk drivers). And I’m pretty sure Miss Reckless Driver wanted us to come along as she needed petrol money. But, she and her sidekick told us some tale of how they are planning not to drink and so on and so forth. Against my better judgement we decide to go.

The night itself was pretty enjoyable. We really had outright fun at St Yves. I even thought that my sixth sense of bad luck was beginning to not work so well anymore. But I was wrong my sixth sense is always right. Now when we got to St Yves we split from the Reckless Driver and her sidekick. So for most of the night we weren’t in contact.

At about 2am Miss Alternative Driver finds me, and says that she is so wasted she needs to go sleep in the car. We find Miss Reckless Driver (who, by the way, is throwing back shots like there’s no tomorrow) and get the car keys. I walk Miss Alternative (who can barely even stand up) to the car and lock her inside. When I get back Miss Reckless tells me she’s about to sober up. I tell you no lies when I say, SHE NEVER DID…She just kept drinking and drinking and drinking.

Okay so Miss Reckless-Drunk driver cannot drive and neither can Miss Alternative-Drunk driver. We are all the way in Camps bay. Our usual cab guys are either unavailable or not answering their phones. And for some strange messed up reason there were no cabs outside the club that night. With no other options we were forced to get into the car with Miss Drunk Driver.

Now there were 3 of us and 2 of them just enough to fit into her small car comfortably. But for some odd reason Miss Drunk Drivers Boyfriend had to occupy the front seat. Now that wouldn’t bother me on a usual night. But, Miss Alternative decided she was going vomit all over the back seat. My bad luck strikes again. So Miss Alternative lay across 75% of the back seat and the 3 of us occupied the 25% that was untouched by the vomit. Super uncomfortable!!!

As we pull off Miss Reckless Driver climbs on to the curb and almost hits a hobo. At that moment I decided to close my eyes. If I am going to die I don’t want to be awake to see it I figured. Her boyfriend kept staring at her and shouting “WAKE UP!!!” every time she dozed off. At some point I opened my eyes to check how far along we were, that’s when the car stalled and rolled back. To make matters worse there was a police car behind us!!!! Luckily that police guy did nothing. And by some twist in fate we had a little bit of luck and made it home alive.

To end of all I can say is BEWARE THE RECKLESS DRIVER and her sidekick alternative driver. They will drink themselves stupid, and try kill you with their drunk-driving. You don’t have to take my word for it. But it is just another misfortune that’s happened to me.