The Reckless Driver... strikes again!

One thing I have to mention about the Reckless driver is that they have this extraordinary ability to convince you that you will be safe in their care. This ofcourse being a blatant lie. A person is never ever safe around the Reckless Driver. But, for some odd reason you find that your defences become lowered and you are completely convinced nothing can go wrong. "Its just going to be a normal night out. Nothing can go wrong. There are more than enough "designated" drivers", you try to convince yourself. Once again I had to learn a hard lesson when it comes to the Reckless driver. If its to good to be true...IT PROBABLY IS!

Like most of our nights out, we find ourselves in Long street.We were a group of about 10 girls. Came in two cars and most of the girls could drive at the time (excluding me and one friend of mine - who I will name Olivia). For the purposes of anonymity I will use psuedonames. The plan for driving back to campus was as follows: Firstly, no person who was drinking would be allowed to drive back. Secondly, if it is your car we are using make sure you have a sober alternative driver if you happen to drink. Lastly, we shall wait for those that have been drinking to sober up before we leave. Sounds like a legit plan right? If only...

Now the Reckless driver travels with either a sidekick or an entourage. But here is the important thing to remember about these associates of the Recklesss driver, they all think exactly like the Reckless driver. Essentially giving rise to a group of what I call collectively "The Reckless Driver!". Now, one thing that I know now that I didn't know back then, was that one thing that was more dangerous than a Reckless Driver is a group of Reckless Drivers. Let me tell you why...

When we arrived at Chrome (a previously existing club on Long) that night, I am pretty sure none of those girls that had said they won't drink actually planned on not drinking. Because, the moment we got to Chrome all 8 of the other girls went straight for the bar. Leaving me and Olivia ,the only two who cannot drive, the sober ones. Shot after shot, the girls just kept downing the alcohol. Girls went missing, and then we found them again, and then they went missing again. Some locked themselves in bathroom stalls the whole night throwing up (Tammy and Emma). And others went in search of food at McDonalds (Melany and Anne). And the rest I have no idea were they disappeared to he whole night. What I am sure of is that they were all drinking up a storm. GOODBYE SAFE-DRIVING PLAN!

When it was time to go home and we had successfully found most of the missing parties, there is a police officer questioning one friend (Rebecca). Now, Rebecca decided to drunk-call her ex-boyfriend outside. when her boyfriend didn't pick up because he was with his current girlfriend she got angry and decided she is now driving home. That's when the police officer decided to intervene and question. Just my luck!!! Bad Luck in Long street yet again. After a long discussion ( or whatever drunk people do when they think they making sense in a argument) with the policeman about their ability to drive in their state. He suggests that he drives back in one car whilst his partner trails behind us in their police van (or we could leave and he arrests us for drunk driving). But there is a problem. We came in two cars and the two sober people left cannot drive. That's when Melany and Anne decide to return from McDonalds. Anne who is clearly drunk (I don't know why the policeman never picked it up) lies and says she is sober and can drive the second car. I will repeat. Anne lied and said she was sober and she lied and said she could drive!!! Anne was at the time a beginner learner driver. and If you know Long street you know that no learner driver can really manoeuvre the streets around Long.

We decide to leave with the policeman as our driver. And as per usual the Reckless driver stick together. they all go into Rebecca's car with Anne as their driver. And the rest of us sat in Tammy's car with the policeman as the driver. I kid you not, as we about to pull off, Anne cannot even start the car. Rebecca decides its her car she will drive. We spent the rest of the drive back home tailing Rebecca ,whose car kept swerving left and right then left again the entire time. And Emma sitting in the front seat of Tammy's car apologising  repeatedly for Rebeccas driving and thanking the policemen. Did I mention that Tammy kept throwing up out of her car window the entire drive back.The policeman ,to put it lightly, was highly unimpressed.

We did end up home safe, but that was thanks to the policeman. If it were up to the Reckless driver we would have ended up dead or in prison. You don't have to believe it but it sure as hell happened to me. Its yet another bad event that happened on Long street.

The Reckless (Drunk) Driver

This anecdote is about a person or even a group of people I have collectively named the “Reckless Driver”.

The Reckless Driver is always the person who is too cheap to pay for a cab to go out, so they always offer to drive (if we pay petrol money of course).  They also have to spin you some story of how they won’t drink, and if they do drink they will wait 2 hours to sober up before we leave, or even if they don’t sober up there is always an alternative driver who will most definitely be sober to drive us back. Sounds legit right? If only…

On this particular night we were approached by The Reckless driver and her friend The Alternative driver to go to St Yves for the night. We were not very keen to go as we always take a cab (saves us the hassle of drunk drivers). And I’m pretty sure Miss Reckless Driver wanted us to come along as she needed petrol money. But, she and her sidekick told us some tale of how they are planning not to drink and so on and so forth. Against my better judgement we decide to go.

The night itself was pretty enjoyable. We really had outright fun at St Yves. I even thought that my sixth sense of bad luck was beginning to not work so well anymore. But I was wrong my sixth sense is always right. Now when we got to St Yves we split from the Reckless Driver and her sidekick. So for most of the night we weren’t in contact.

At about 2am Miss Alternative Driver finds me, and says that she is so wasted she needs to go sleep in the car. We find Miss Reckless Driver (who, by the way, is throwing back shots like there’s no tomorrow) and get the car keys. I walk Miss Alternative (who can barely even stand up) to the car and lock her inside. When I get back Miss Reckless tells me she’s about to sober up. I tell you no lies when I say, SHE NEVER DID…She just kept drinking and drinking and drinking.

Okay so Miss Reckless-Drunk driver cannot drive and neither can Miss Alternative-Drunk driver. We are all the way in Camps bay. Our usual cab guys are either unavailable or not answering their phones. And for some strange messed up reason there were no cabs outside the club that night. With no other options we were forced to get into the car with Miss Drunk Driver.

Now there were 3 of us and 2 of them just enough to fit into her small car comfortably. But for some odd reason Miss Drunk Drivers Boyfriend had to occupy the front seat. Now that wouldn’t bother me on a usual night. But, Miss Alternative decided she was going vomit all over the back seat. My bad luck strikes again. So Miss Alternative lay across 75% of the back seat and the 3 of us occupied the 25% that was untouched by the vomit. Super uncomfortable!!!

As we pull off Miss Reckless Driver climbs on to the curb and almost hits a hobo. At that moment I decided to close my eyes. If I am going to die I don’t want to be awake to see it I figured. Her boyfriend kept staring at her and shouting “WAKE UP!!!” every time she dozed off. At some point I opened my eyes to check how far along we were, that’s when the car stalled and rolled back. To make matters worse there was a police car behind us!!!! Luckily that police guy did nothing. And by some twist in fate we had a little bit of luck and made it home alive.

To end of all I can say is BEWARE THE RECKLESS DRIVER and her sidekick alternative driver. They will drink themselves stupid, and try kill you with their drunk-driving. You don’t have to take my word for it. But it is just another misfortune that’s happened to me.